… or, “An Open Letter to Apple Inc., 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino CA, 95014″
Listen
It’s not that I don’t love this thing
I do. Really.
The brushed aluminum chassis sits by my desk
Like an objet d’art
The Quad-Core processor
Makes Photoshop sit up and beg for its supper
It’s probably gotten me laid
But here’s the thing
I tend to walk barefoot
Around the apartment
And when I stub my toe on the aforementioned
Brushed aluminum chassis
Oh my sweet holy bag full of shit does it hurt
Hurt like a banshee
Hurt like a storm surge
A symphony of anguish
Where each note is plucked upon a nociceptor
In my fifth metatarsal
So how about you guys work on that
Okay?