So here’s a weird sentence: I’m in a horror movie and we’re doing a raffle.
Here are some other weird sentences:
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• I have a wheel barrow and these waffles are delicious.
• My house is on fire and your uncle called.
• The Dutch have a monarchy and some plastic is not recyclable.
• Several dishes are chipped and the children are scared.
• He enjoys ice-fishing and the measuring tape is in the basement.
• There is water on the moon and the floor is covered in leaves.
But the first sentence is a real thing that is actually happening. I have been cast in an independent horror movie produced by 221 Films, and there is a raffle to help raise funds. On the How-Independent-Is-Your-Movie scale, “holding a raffle” rates a solid nine.
Among other things, the money will go toward cabin rental, gas, coffee, makeshift bone weapons, the procurement of a fake deer, and the purchase of cardboard boxes to break a Russian stuntman’s fall. All of these things are also true, and not made up. Come to think of it, I’m starting to have second thoughts about this.
My hovercraft is full of eels.