Analog Nation

So here’s a weird sentence: I’m in a horror movie and we’re doing a raffle.

Here are some other weird sentences:

• I have a wheel barrow and these waffles are delicious.
• My house is on fire and your uncle called.
• The Dutch have a monarchy and some plastic is not recyclable.
• Several dishes are chipped and the children are scared.
• He enjoys ice-fishing and the measuring tape is in the basement.
• There is water on the moon and the floor is covered in leaves.

But the first sentence is a real thing that is actually happening. I have been cast in an independent horror movie produced by 221 Films, and there is a raffle to help raise funds. On the How-Independent-Is-Your-Movie scale, “holding a raffle” rates a solid nine.

Among other things, the money will go toward cabin rental, gas, coffee, makeshift bone weapons, the procurement of a fake deer, and the purchase of cardboard boxes to break a Russian stuntman’s fall. All of these things are also true, and not made up. Come to think of it, I’m starting to have second thoughts about this.