Free (or best offer)

Classified ads rejected by the Kansas City Star. Phone numbers have been removed. NICE TREE Tree for sale, oak or maple or elm or something. Nice & tall! Excell. cond. Available for pick-up immed. Still in ground, you will need to dig up. $1000/best offer

VULTURES! Discover vulture farming. Work from home, defy the recession. Carrion industry booming, plus vulture meat rich in protein. Starters kts. incl. 4 baby vultures $250

FREE AIRLINE TICKET Bought a ticket to Sacramento, can't go. Hate to waste it, yours for free! Shadow me for a wk, learn to look & act like me. Become me. Sacto great in spring!

NEED BOXES Need boxes, boxes of all sizes, as many boxes as possible. Have to get hands on at least 400 boxes in the next 24 hrs. No questions asked. Leave in driveway, do not ring bell.

COZY FURNITURE, GREAT DEAL! Like-new upholstered living room set, 8 pieces, just bought. Burgundy, walnut trim. Moderate/severe urine-related issues on all pieces. $1250/best offer

COME TAKE OUT MY TRASH Sick of taking out trash, want someone to do it for me. No pay, but I have ping-pong table and foosball.

MISSED CONNECTION Women in blue dress, Union Station, expecting a delivery? Sry was late, couldn't find you, still need to get briefcase to motherland. Try again Thur? Mark mailbox with chalk if yes.