In Their Own Words

"As you can tell from these photographs, the hieroglyphs inscribed in the tomb's antechamber are fairly straightforward. Here we see a kneeling man followed by an eye, some water, two ravens and a foot — which, as our best Egyptologists indicate, can be loosely translated as 'foreign interloper.' Here, the man is shown entering the tomb with a shovel. And then here, he is being devoured by Wepwawet, the Jackal God of Hunting. This is almost certainly to be construed as a blessing upon those who would enter the tomb, and should not be seen as a warning, curse, or dire omen of any kind. Likewise, these inscriptions around the sarcophagus itself, which depict the Death-Guardian Anubis feasting on human skulls, likely mean 'Go ahead and borrow these treasures to display in your homeland.' I believe our generous hosts in Cairo would definitely agree. And of course, we could only humbly oblige."-Lord Royce Pellington, leader of the expedition that discovered the tomb of Pharaoh Setulhotep II, presenting their specimens at the British Museum, 1853. Pellington was dead within 4 days, killed by a dart laced with excruciating poison. His colleagues commented that his demise was as gruesome as it was predictable.

"When you go out there today, I want you to pulverize 'em! I want you to pound 'em! I want you to hit 'em in the mouth, put 'em on the ground, and then hit 'em again! I want to see 'em so dizzy they're not sure which end zone's theirs! I want you to trample 'em so bad they can't remember their uncles' names! Not a single one! If I walk up to one and ask him to name even one of his uncles, I want him drawing a complete blank! I want him to run home to his mother and say, 'Gosh mother, not only did the Crimson Tide whoop us, I can't remember your brothers' names!' Eleven uncle-free bastards on offense, eleven uncle-free bastards on defense! See this? It's a list of all their uncles! If one stinkin' player on that team can remember one stinkin' name on this list, you bums are doing two-a-days for the next week! You got that? ZERO! AVUNCULAR! THOUGHTS! Now let's get out there and play some football!" -Alabama coach Paul "Bear" Bryant, prior to a game against Vanderbilt, 1971. Alabama won 42-0.

"War is hell. Except for the days when it is really, really fun. Those days are few and far between, but boy, when they come along, sakes alive! Seriously though, it's almost all hell." -William Tecumseh Sherman, 1879