In Their Own Words

"I am not going to lie to you, men. The odds we face are grim. We are outnumbered and outgunned. Our supplies dwindle. Our ammunition will not last. The enemy is well rested, well positioned, and very angry about the fact that I called King George the son of a motherless goat. It is possible they will give no quarter. To be perfectly frank, many of you will not live to see the mo— Wait, where are you all going?"-US Army Colonel Thaddeus McKitrick, November 1813

"Certainly there have been women who, like yourself, have said that they do not need cosmetics to look their best. That their 'natural glow' is enough to carry them through the day. Well how about this. Let's bury you alive. Then we'll see how pretty you are, hm?" -Estée Lauder, 1961

"I wrote the Declaration of Independence. I was the first Secretary of State, the second Vice President, and the third President. I brokered the purchase of half this country from France. I am an accomplished horticulturalist, paleontologist, archaeologist, economist, and inventor. I founded a university. (Go Cavaliers!) I designed and built my very own estate, and gave it an Italian name. My name is Thomas Jefferson, and I kick ass." -Thomas Jefferson, doodled in the margins of an unfinished treatise on Newton's views about alchemy, circa 1824