Last Refuge of the Damned

Otherwise known as the 'Missed Connections' page. Timothy! In tenth grade, when we both said that if we weren't with someone on Valentine's Day 2009 we'd meet in Central Park, did we by any chance say anything more specific? A time, maybe?

Sparks and a bang I'm the guy who accidentally discharged his service weapon at your cousin's Bat Mitzvah. Seemed like we had chemistry, what happened?

Seeing clearly by the dryers To the gentleman at the Sparkle Plenty laundromat in Astoria who kept asking me about Stonehenge: I understand now. Sorry I was rude. Would like the opportunity to discuss.

Karma on the corner My arms were full of shoeboxes, your forehead was red from just having your eyebrows threaded, we waited for the walk signal at Madison and 50th. Please please please contact me, I'm almost positive we had a successful Vaudeville act in a former life!

MoMA babe We were vibing by the Rothko. I had on a red turtleneck, you seemed like an excellent candidate with whom to repopulate the human race. Will happily explain why this will soon be necessary.

Cancer clown You had on a blue wig, a blue nose and blue shoes, and made balloon animals for my grandmother at Sloan Kettering. Am I going to hell for hoping we get together for coffee?

Hello man in felt cap at Rockefeller Center I am man in white jacket. Must go back to home country soon. I purchase daughter, yes?

Crazy for cupcakes I was getting a vanilla frosted at Magnolia, you were outside measuring squirrels with a ruler and yelling something about cosmonauts. I was too shy to say hello, would love another shot!

Camera Girl You were headed uptown on the 1 Train. This was a couple Saturdays ago. I got on at 28th Street and sat directly across the aisle. You had a book about photography. You were practicing English by softly reading the book aloud, working your way past words like 'aperture' in an adorable accent. (Japanese, I believe? My apologies if I'm mistaken!) You caught me smiling at you and stopped. I felt bad for intruding, and was afraid I'd ruined the moment, but you started back where you left off, quieter and more self-conscious. The second time you caught me smiling, you couldn't help smiling back. And for those stops until 96th Street, there was an almost-performance, with a rapt audience of one who couldn't quite hear the artist. You waved as you got off the train. You were wearing a Chococat barrette. Anyway, your friend was super hot. Seriously — like, a 15 out of 10. Would love to get her email, thx.