Biaxially Oriented Polyethylene Terephthalate (For Fun And Profit)

MEMORANDUM 21 July 1953 Charles Blakely Vice President, Product Development E.I. DuPont de Nemours & Co. CC: Thomas Carlson

Charlie,

Read the script last night, great work. Mylar is an exciting product, and this film will showcase its qualities to the world. "What's It To You" is a strong title. It's a bold statement, but also has a casual feel. That's good. Our viewers will be serious businessmen, but they loosen their ties at five o'clock just like you and me.

Shooting has been pushed back a couple of days, so that the chemists can work out any kinks with the demo stations. That gives us some breathing room to make a few final tweaks to the script. Take a look at my notes below.

• Have we picked out the music yet? Tell the licensing guys to find something with pep, something modern. Think "the sound of doing business."

• The spokesman will need to strike a proper tone. Stern yet gentle like a father, friendly like an uncle, knowledgeable like a doctor. Uncle doctor father.

• I'm okay with the baseball bat gimmick in the opening sequence. But for the love of Saint Peter, he has to smile when he does it. The last thing we need is a thug for our pitchman.

• What do you think for assistants — two blondes or mix it up? Carlson says both should be blondes, but you know Carly and his blondes. I say mix it up, and give them hats.

• Does the acrobat on the trampoline have to be a man? Just seems like we're wasting a golden opportunity is all.

• Should the spokesman be smoking? I feel like he should be smoking. It would make him seem more like a surgeon. People listen to surgeons.

• Hopefully this goes without saying, but the scotch on set should be at least twelve years old. None of that paint thinner they tried to serve us at the company picnic.

• In answer to your question about whether to have the spokesman do the chemistry demonstrations himself: Of course he should! The fellow will look like gangbusters in a lab apron and safety goggles. Lends an air of authority. However, make sure he doesn't put his face in the 15,000 volt generator. This sounds crazy, I know, but we had a problem with that when we demo'd Dacron.

• Just to touch base on the hot/cold sequence real quick, do we need a professional bowler or can one of the guys just do it? How does one find a professional bowler, anyway? Carlson insists we should use jai alai instead of bowling, but we can't bring Cuban nationals into a situation with industrial secrets.

• Speaking of which, did you hear about Boeing's new B-52 Stratofortress? Sweet mercy, we are going to bomb the piss out of those Russkies.

• I cannot stress this enough: For the "housewife" sequence to work, the model needs to look 100% bangable. Someone should take her for a spin, just to be certain.

• Mylar's most underrated attribute is its crinkliness. Make sure the spokesman handles the packages on camera, so that everyone can hear how much it crinkles.

• Using a skunk for the olfactory segment is a phenomenal idea. Love it. See if we can get Mel Blanc to do a voice-over as that "dirty Frenchman" skunk character he does for Warner. (Be sure to incinerate the skunk afterward. We don't want a goddamn skunk running loose in the studio.)

• Should the film briefly mention Mylar's effectiveness as a mind control agent? What about the radiation problem? The people who have disappeared after prolonged exposure? The fact that it's technically classifiable as a life form? Its tendency to hover? I'm thinking no.

• Take out the bon mot about wives greeting their husbands wearing only Mylar. Linda & I tried it last weekend, and it doesn't work nearly as well as you'd think.

• One last thought — what if we print the title cards on Mylar itself? (My youngest daughter came up with that one. She'll be a fantastic homemaker some day. Hopefully not too soon, of course! Seriously, I can feel the march of time treading upon my soul. It tramples me, Charlie. It tramples me.)

Gentlemen, we are in the business of selling the plastic revolution. Business is booming. Let's wrap this planet in Mylar.