Chris likes If you've ever tripped on the sidewalk and then walked on like nothing ever happened, LIKE THIS!Chris likes Sometimes when I get mad, I break something useful Other times, I break something expensive. Chris likes LIKE THIS IF YOU NEED A HUG! Chris likes Hey guess what? I wasn't even gonna sit there anyway. Chris likes Just get me through this day, and I swear I'll never drink on a weeknight again. Until next time! =^D Chris likes Apparently the planet will not continue to spin unless I lose my phone once per day. Chris likes I did it, I'm not going to apologize for it, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Chris likes My dog does more around the house than my ex-boyfriend, and looks better in a collar. Chris likes Why do I even bother arguing with people who don't agree with me? Chris likes The remote belongs in my hand, and you can have it when you grow a brain. Chris likes Like this if you want to punch a hug in the throat. Chris likes No that's fine, I wasn't going to eat that lunch I put in the office fridge with my name on it. Glad you enjoyed it. Chris likes Sorry to hear that your PetVille bought the FarmVille. Chris likes Jump out of a church steeple? Aw hell nawl! Chris likes Well, that is definitely the very last time I trust a carny with my 401(k). Chris likes I'm just going to count to ten and pretend that I'm on a tropical island surrounded by the corpses of my enemies. Chris likes Just woke up with the nastiest hangover. Why am I going 110 through a school zone? Whoah, this isn't even my car. Chris likes Like this if you've ever accidentally broken up a drug deal in Nicaragua! Chris likes FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, STOP CHANGING FACEBOOK. Chris likes Pants are important. Wear them. Chris likes Shut up. Shut up. Shut. Up. Shut. Shut. Shut. Shut. Shut. Shut. SHUT. UP. This very instant. Just shut it. Chris likes What I need right now is a waffle the size of a Prius, STAT! Chris likes LIKE THIS IF YOU THINK MOST PEOPLE WOULDN'T KNOW A DECENT CUP OF COFFEE FROM A BUCKET OF SAND AND BATTERY ACID! Chris likes Ever notice how you've never seen a picture of the Pope hang gliding? Not just the current one, ANY Pope? Suspicious, right? Chris likes If Nikola Tesla were alive today, his Flickr feed would be off the charts. Chris likes They're called night-vision goggles, and you wouldn't be so freaked out if you weren't doing something shady and this wasn't your backyard and I wasn't crying. Chris likes What's with all the pandas at the Dairy Queen? Every time I go to Dairy Queen there's a panda. Chris likes Some days I'm going to come back from lunch reeking of daiquiris. Get used to it. Chris likes Everyone who whines to me at the office today is getting a piping hot mug of DON'T CARE. Chris likes Sorry, I can't hear you, I've got my WHINE BLOCKER on. Chris likes Let's put all the whiners on an ice floe and then melt the ice floe and then shoot the whiners. Chris likes Oh god it's all closing in on me, the walls, the walls, there's no escape, I'm never getting out of here, hey look donuts! Chris likes Some days I want to =D but then I'm like =O and then I'm all =( Chris likes When you like a random statement on Facebook, there's a pretty good chance you're driving ad dollars to a site you've never heard of. Chris likes Oh no! There are spiders. Have an angry. Must be otherwise, run for yourself!
Chris likes this.