Chris likes If you’ve ever tripped on the sidewalk and then walked on like nothing ever happened, LIKE THIS! Chris likes Sometimes when I get mad, I break something useful Other times, I break something expensive. Chris likes LIKE THIS IF YOU NEED A HUG! Chris likes Hey guess what? I wasn’t even gonna sit [...]
Entries Tagged as 'Uncategorized'
Click “Like” If You Like To Like “Likes”
September 1st, 2010
Tags: The Internet
Fantasy Football: A Guide For Beginners
August 22nd, 2010
Late summer has clenched us in its sweaty, wheezing grip. Everybody’s all beached out. Everyone’s hair is a fluffy/frizzy mess. Electricity bills ache like letters from the Civil War. Defeated, we cast our withered glance toward Autumn. This way marches a savior, flanked by trees of gold and crimson: the foot-ball season is almost here. [...]
The REDACTED REDACTED of REDACTED
July 19th, 2010
By now, everyone has heard. Someone spilled the beans, the cat’s out of the bag, the information is out in the ether, and now there are beans and cats everywhere. Granted, it’s not that hard to clean up beans, and whoever thought it would be difficult to put a cat back in a bag has [...]
Tags: gubmint
Navel Gazing (Digital Edition)
May 6th, 2010
The Internet is weird. Every twisted and desperate thought humanity ever had is rendered in loving detail, thrown into a corner, and forgotten. And hell, that’s just Wikipedia. Everyone knows this, at least on an academic level. But it’s nice to see occasional proof that yep, the Internet is still the Crooked Attic of the [...]
Tags: The Internet
Irony vs. the Robots
April 29th, 2010
Not to speak on behalf of an entire generation or anything, but we have a bit of an irony problem. We invoke irony like it’s diplomatic immunity or the Fifth Amendment, as if the label pardons us from actually thinking about whatever it is we’re saying/observing/sculpting/baking/etc. The irony of it is, we usually don’t even [...]
Tags: Robots!
My iPhone Is Sad Today
April 3rd, 2010
8:25 AM: My iPhone is sad today. I’m not really sure what the problem is. Usually on Saturdays we get up early and I make us breakfast, but this morning it doesn’t seem interested. I made dinosaur-shaped pancakes — its favorite — and steamed 1% milk for its chai latte. No “thank you,” no “nice [...]
Tags: mysteriously untaggable