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Entries Tagged as 'Uncategorized'

ABC, Cablevision, and the Price of Arrows

March 9th, 2010

Don’t go into the living room, Mom and Dad are fighting again.
Those of you outside the New York area probably missed the excitement, but ABC went off the air for several hours on Sunday, vanishing from LCD screens while the clock ticked down to the Oscars. The disappearance was a negotiating tactic in the [...]

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Announcement of a Theatrical Nature

March 1st, 2010

It’s me! Playing Hamlet! But with 97% less Shakespeare!

Exciting news for those who live in New York and have sworn a blood oath against me! I will be descending from my mountaintop fortress an unprecedented eight times over the next couple of weeks. In fact, I will be out in the open, without bodyguards, without [...]

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Things I Learned While Filming A Horror Movie Outside On A Mountain In The Catskills In The Dead Of Night Through Sub-Zero Temperatures With No Sleep, Little Food, And Some Decent Scotch

January 17th, 2010

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I would be appearing in a horror movie. I suppose it might sound made up, considering this site has also claimed that squirrels live for 800 years, and that redheads are allergic to cardboard. But it’s true — I am playing a character named Doug in “The [...]

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Announcement of a Stand-Up Nature

January 16th, 2010

Help us make meth! I mean, art. Make art.

Exciting new for those who live in New York and wish to bring me cupcakes in person! I will be breaking security protocol to make an appearance outside my isolated mountain compound. The reason? To amuse the shit out of you, dear reader.
Point of You Productions, [...]

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New Year 2010 Part II: Resolutions That Everyone Has To Make (But Me)

December 31st, 2009

Last year, in lieu of making New Year’s resolutions, I made a series of resolutions on behalf of the world in general. As January 1st bears down upon us once again, I have taken the liberty of crafting some more. You get to relax and stop trying to think up a good resolution, I get [...]

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New Year 2010 Part I: Completely Accurate Predictions

December 30th, 2009

Analog Nation is pleased to present our predictions for the first year of the second decade of the third millennium — and beyond.
• Financial markets in Europe will grind to a halt due to a toothpaste shortage in Finland.
The world economy will once again teeter on disaster’s edge.
• Tectonic activity will cause major geological changes [...]

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