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The Kosher Cops: Defenders of Entenmann

October 6, 2011
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Friday nights at Brandeis were strange. Come sundown, there was a palpable sense of conflict among some of the freshmen: How seriously should I take the Sabbath situation? These were the in-betweeners. Not the ones from traditional Jewish homes, whose routines were set; not the ones who paid attention only on High Holidays or...
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Part Cat, Part Monkey, Part Jellyfish — Did I Leave Anything Out?

September 19, 2011
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Part Cat, Part Monkey, Part Jellyfish — Did I Leave Anything Out?

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” -Arthur C. Clarke, 1917-2008 “Seriously though, what you guys are doing right now has me tripping balls, and I’ve only been dead for three years.” -ibid. Let’s say we had access to a time-voyage device. If we went back and grabbed Benjamin Franklin, brought him to...
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Would You Rather: A Series of Hypothetical Conundra for Conversation and Assessment

August 31, 2011
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Would you rather … One … be with someone who is a perfect match for you both physically and emotionally, but who leaves green paint on you (and only you) whenever you touch them, ~or~ … own a stylish, luxurious car that never needs refueling, but whose stereo only ever plays a running commentary...
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Spaceships, and the Damn Dirty Apes That Fly Them

July 20, 2011
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“Hey, you know what would be hilarious? When the space shuttle lands, everyone should be dressed as apes!” -The entire Internet, July 2011 Over the past week, I’ve seen the shuttle/apes joke no fewer than five times — three via Twitter, twice on Reddit. And that’s just what I’ve seen. It’s not like I’m...
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Bananas: Now Even Weirder Somehow

July 6, 2011
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There is calamitous news on the breakfast front, people. Breakfast is sacrosanct here at Analog Nation, so I would not throw around a word like “calamitous” lightly. Apparently I’m fine throwing around “sacrosanct,” though. At any rate, the news isn’t good. Bananas, it seems, are not long for this world. To understand how this...
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Operation Fluffy Midnight: Lessons Learned While Capturing Felis Catus In The Wild

June 28, 2011
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daggers-yard

CLEARANCE: Classified OPERATIONAL CODE PHRASE: Fluffy Midnight OBJECTIVE: Live capture of juvenile Felis catus DOSSIER: When Analog Nation moved into a new apartment last summer, one of the key results (along with a shorter commute, and bathroom tile from this century that can actually be cleaned) was a drastically elevated KRS. The KRS scale...
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