12/27/09 – Prior to 1917, New Year’s Day was celebrated on October 12th. The date was moved to January 1st to assist with the war effort. The 4th of July was also moved from June 23rd, and Groundhog Day was suspended for the duration of the war.
12/20/09 – It is an urban legend that Coca-Cola developed the modern image of Santa Claus. However, the company did acquire all legal rights to Christmas in 1944.
12/13/09 – The biblical phrase “I am the Alpha and the Omega” stems from the fact that the ancient Greeks only had two letters (A and Ω) in their alphabet. Words were basically written out in binary code — “ΩAAΩAΩΩAAΩ” was their word for olive grove, “AAAΩΩΩAΩAAAΩΩAAΩ” was their word for wooden horse, and so forth. (Interesting historical side note: The remaining 22 letters were developed in the 15th century by an ad agency who was hired to re-brand Greece’s image.)
12/6/09 – More than 95% of the world’s oatmeal is mined from natural deposits within the Ozark Mountains. Geologists warn that if a new source is not discovered, there will be no oatmeal on store shelves by 2025.
11/29/09 – The term “Cyber Monday” was first used in reference to Monday, June 16, 1986, when a computer-born, self-aware entity known only as “Intelligence Factor 9″ very nearly gained control of NORAD with the goal of starting World War III. The incident was a secret until 2006, but the Internet security staff at the NSA still get pissed that “Cyber Monday” now refers to people buying stuff online.
11/22/09 – Though little is known of the original Thanksgiving, historians agree that the original Black Friday, when Native Americans held doorbuster sales on buckles for hats & shoes, was a huge success. Retail sales for that holiday period grew 8% over the previous year.
11/15/09 – Apatichophobia: The fear that one is always talking to an impostor on the phone, no matter how much evidence is produced to the contrary.
11/8/09 – As recently as the Middle Ages, dogs had diaphanous, wing-like membranes and could glide from treetop to treetop. A handful of these “lufthound” breeds survived in Galileo’s time, but died out shortly thereafter.
11/1/09 – When the coiled tubing of an average 75 watt compact fluorescent bulb is rolled flat, it measures nearly 855 miles — long enough to reach from Boston to Cincinnati.
10/25/09 – Brain impulses generated by fear travel through the nervous system at a speed directly proportional to the speed of the perceived threat. If, for example, you are attacked in a dark alley by a three-toed sloth with a knife, the chemical messages of fear will spread slowly through your body, as the sloth very lazily stabs you. Basically, you will panic in slow-motion.
10/18/09 – The U.S. twenty-five cent piece, or “quarter,” derives its circumference from the exact width of George Washington’s eye socket.
10/11/09 – In 16th century Russia, infected wounds were treated by applying a poultice of goat’s milk and cedar ash, while a blood relative strangled a goose nearby. The goose was then fed to the wounded. Eating the entire goose wasn’t necessary for the procedure, but most physicians gave out poultice gift certificates to those who did.
10/4/09 – The Sumerians believed that beard length was directly proportional to the number of toes a man had — the longer the beard, the greater the number of toes.
9/27/09 – Almost all historians who study the life of Geoffrey Chaucer agree that he would have made an outstanding hockey player. Probably a defenseman, though possibly a goalie.
9/20/09 – John Steinbeck had an elk’s head mounted in every room of his home, including the bathrooms and closets.
9/13/09 – The human lung produces a powerful magnetic charge. Were it not for the rib cage, an individual’s lungs would repel each other straight through the sides of their body.
9/6/09 – More than one third of all redheads are allergic to corrugated cardboard.
8/30/09 – For nearly thirty years, Deepak Chopra has written all the words to “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” inside the cover of every single book he has read, even cookbooks.
8/23/09 – Dolphins see every color as a shade of orange. No one’s quite sure how we know that.
8/16/09 – At the moment of death, the human body loses 21 grams of mass, gains 64 millimeters of height, flattens by an inch or so, and faintly whistles like a steamboat.
8/9/09 – Sand can never be entirely washed off of the human body. Each of us carries at least one grain of sand (on or within our person) from every beach we have ever visited.
8/2/09 – There is a building in Indianapolis that no one has ever entered. There is no record in the city’s history of it ever having been built, and now no one dares go inside, despite the fact that it looks pretty nice.
7/26/09 – Most primates view pinstripe suits as a display of aggression, which is why rainforest aboriginal tribes only wear solid-color blazers paired with slacks.
7/19/09 – Jacques Cousteau hated squid, and would often order calimari without any intention of eating it, just to reduce their numbers in the ocean.
7/12/09 – The earliest known laundry detergent advertised in the U.S. was “Dr. Marshall E. Pfeffer’s Powdered Soap Powder Formulated For Use With Clothing & Linen,” which first appeared in 1798. Its popular tag line, featured in newspapers and general store windows, was “When you have soiled your clothes and linens through normal everyday use, and it is time to launder them so they may return to their original state of pristine cleanliness, please consider the application of Dr. Marshall E. Pfeffer’s Powdered Soap Powder Formulated For Use With Clothing & Linen.”
7/5/09 – Leading causes of death in owls:
1. Predators
2. Owl-on-owl violence
3. Ancient curse
4. Emphysema
5. Sadness
Source: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
6/28/09 – The ink used to print the purple “5″ on the back of the five dollar bill is made from crow’s blood.
6/21/09 – Your small intestine is exactly five times as long as your forearm. Try it yourself and see — a fun project for a rainy day!
6/14/09 – Several parties lay claim to the invention of the ‘tab’ key, though it was most likely the work of the Lupescu, a band of Romanian gypsies who roamed Europe selling typewriters in the early 1900s.
6/7/09 – The ceiling fan industry is the Russian mob’s #1 source of income.
5/31/09 – Studies show that individuals who play backgammon for an hour each day are better able to solve logic puzzles, but are also more likely to start robbing liquor stores.
5/24/09 – In 1904, the city of Minneapolis passed a law preventing men from shaking hands while wearing a hat, unless both had mustaches. The law was not repealed until 1997.
5/17/09 – Evergreen trees emit a sound in the 30-34KHz range that, when adjusted to a frequency audible by humans, is indistinguishable from the laughter of clowns.
5/10/09 – Hermit crabs pretend to like jazz, but in reality very few of them “get it.”
5/3/09 – If you released all the combustible energy in all the molecules in an average-sized litter of kittens, it would just barely be funny enough to be forgivable (but not by much).
4/26/09 – The first VCR built for consumer use, released by Sony in 1965, weighed as much as a Soviet T-34 tank.
4/19/09 – A group of hippos is called a bratch. A group of owls is called a grunkle. A group of woodchucks is called a slim-boat, though woodchucks rarely get along and only meet up when it’s important.
4/12/09 – If the moon in its orbit were to trace a line on the surface of the Earth, over the course of 700,000 years it would write all the lyrics to “Immigrant Song.”
4/5/09 – Though he rarely spoke of it, Carl Sagan had a foot in a jar of formaldehyde that he carried with him on lecture tours.
3/29/09 – Skype is short for “skull type,” an homage to the necromantic cult that oversaw beta-testing of the application in 2003.
3/22/09 – Gertrude Stein found meals to be “bleak and dispiriting” unless she had hunted the food herself.
3/15/09 – An individual taking the SAT generates enough electrical impulses in their brain to lightly toast three slices of bread. Not toasted enough to use with breakfast, but enough for a nice club sandwich (especially if it’s whole wheat).
3/8/09 – The biggest chicken beak heist on record netted 137 tons of beaks, which proves that people will pretty much steal anything.
3/1/09 – A penny dropped from the top of the Sears Tower to street level would reach a velocity of 248.8 million meters per second — 83% of the speed of light. To a stationary observer, the penny would appear to be 6.3 meters long, and the descent would be happening 12 minutes in the future.
2/22/09 – Technically, the 26th Amendment doesn’t apply to fat people.
2/15/09 – In Milwaukee, all compass needles point straight up into the air.
2/8/09 – The actual Saint Valentine, who was beheaded for speaking the Lord’s name while shaving, was a notorious commitment-phobe and refused to be “tied down.”
2/1/09 – Toads have an unerring sense of direction, and until the late 16th century were often kept tethered to the bows of ships for navigation.
1/25/09 – When Saran Wrap was introduced in 1949, many grocers in small towns refused to stock it, believing the see-through film to be a hoax.
1/18/09 – Hubert Humphrey’s entire skeletal system was made of balsa wood. His bones were among the lightest of any U.S. Vice President, second of course to those of Adlai Stevenson.
1/11/09 – The air pressure in Ireland is so great that departing flights of more than 1,000 miles must have special systems installed to decompress gradually. Passengers would otherwise get the bends.
1/4/09 – Bob Dylan is a fictional character — a stage persona created by Warren Buffet.
