Completely True Fact Archive — 2010
12/26/10 – St. Bernard pups do not develop their distinctive ‘mini-barrel’ appendages until reaching 7 or 8 months. Some never develop them at all; these are not considered show-quality by Westminster Kennel Club standards.
12/19/10 – Since 2003, Wal-Mart has been lobbying the Vatican to officially begin Advent the weekend after Labor Day, to increase the holiday shopping season.
12/12/10 – Snow that falls in the Canadian Rockies will eventually become water in the Amazon River, a cycle that takes just under a day and a half.
12/5/10 – Fifteen years may sound like a long time, but it’s not so bad if there’s chocolate milk.
11/28/10 – Though years away, there are already lavish plans in the works to celebrate Facebook’s one billionth user. He or she will be feted at exclusive events around the world, then sacrificed to appease Kelzar the Raven-God, Bringer of Blight.
11/21/10 – In 1952, the Defense Department conducted an experiment where 1,000 monkeys were sealed in a room with 1,000 typewriters. By lunchtime they had written “Macbeth” and the first few chapters of “Sense and Sensibility,” so they were given the rest of the day off.
11/14/10 – The only word to use all 26 letters of the alphabet is in German, which is so not surprising at all.
11/7/10 – When Stravinsky’s “The Rite of Spring” premiered in Paris in 1913, the intensely primal score incited a riot that has been raging to this day. All told, the riot has made nearly 54 laps around the city.
10/31/10 – According to Census Bureau data, each and every person in America eats 22 pieces of Halloween candy between mid-October and mid-November. This includes individuals born during that span, as well as everyone who has ever died.
10/24/10 – The average infant can lift eleven times its own body weight, and hold it there for more than an hour.
10/17/10 – The first draft of the United States Constitution had so many typos that Charles Pinckney shot two delegates and winged a third. “To strive for perfection is a noble endeavor,” Alexander Hamilton later said, “but Jesus, that guy needs to relax.”
10/10/10 – An unhealthy fixation on numerology has either caused or accelerated the downfall of six civilizations on six continents over the course of six centuries.
10/3/10 – The first draft of the United States Constitution had so many typos that Charles Pinckney shot two delegates and winged a third. “To strive for perfection is a noble endeavor,” Alexander Hamilton later said, “but Jesus, that guy needs to relax.”
9/26/10 – There are only four species of primates that do not enjoy snow cones.
9/19/10 – The Hercules beetle (Dynastes hercules) is able to lift up to 850 times its own body weight, though it rarely does, and hardly even leaves the apartment anymore. Just sits there with its bong, watching “Venture Bros.” all day.
9/12/10 – The couch was invented. As a basic fact, this is both true and amazing. There used to be no couches at all, and then somebody totally thought that shit up.
9/5/10 – While football historians credit Theodore Roosevelt for inventing the forward pass, it was his Vice President, Charles Fairbanks, who suggested that another player should then catch the ball.
8/29/10 – Halogen lamps do not require electricity. When GE began marketing the bulbs in the early 1960s, they assumed the public would panic if they saw a perpetual energy matrix, thinking it was radioactive. Engineers built in a circuit that blocks the iodine-tungsten reaction unless the unit is plugged in. Every year, GE’s board votes on whether to reveal the truth.
8/22/10 – The urban myth about Teddy Ruxpin is patently false. Only around a third of the bears had Columbian cocaine inside, it was nowhere near all of them.
8/15/10 – Carnival workers have internal reproductive organs, like those of a bird. This makes it difficult to determine males from females.
8/8/10 – Thomas Riordan, the man who invented twisty-ties, never made a penny from his creation, alienated everyone close to him, developed severe emotional problems, and died alone. Twisty-ties are pretty handy, though.
8/1/10 – In Austria, the use of flashlights is strictly regulated.
7/25/10 – Prosciutto was used as insulation material for nearly two hundred years, before starving Italian peasants were forced to eat it for sustenance. The peasants kept quiet about their discovery, making a show of how “disgusting” the meat was whenever nobles walked by, even as they were wrapping it around scallops or pairing it with melon.
7/18/10 – “Six of one” may be “half a dozen of the other,” but the two were not mathematically equal until the International System of Units standardized them in 1903. Previously, six of one was worth anywhere from seventy to ninety percent of a dozen of the other, depending on the country.
7/11/10 – The Statue of Liberty was never meant to be a fixed monument. Frédéric Bartholdi, its designer, originally intended for the statue to continuously roam the United States, never coming to a full stop for any reason.
7/4/10 – Genetically speaking, deer ticks are more closely related to ticks than to deer.
6/27/10 – The human eye is slowly developing a resistance to argyle. Geneticists believe that within nine generations, we will no longer be able to perceive argyle patterns at all.
6/20/10 – Our knowledge of dinosaurs evolves as we decipher clues within the fossil record. For example, paleontologists now believe that the average Velociraptor had a top run speed similar to that of a Basset Hound, and was dumber than a bag of hair.
6/13/10 – The National Institutes of Health define five grades of alcoholism: Mild, Acute, Severe, Watch Out, and Russian Gymnastics Coach.
6/6/10 – The constellation Ophiuchus, which lies along the ecliptic, is technically the thirteenth Zodiac sign. Also known as Serpentarius (the snake-holder), it was excluded from Zodiacal canon by the ancients because of its in-your-face, “x-treme” attitude.
5/30/10 – The Jack Russell terrier is named for John Westmoreland Russell, a 19th century British lord who bred the dogs specifically to fire at his neighbors via trebuchet.
5/23/10 – All professional sports league logos are based on images of basketball legend Jerry West. This includes the NBA, MLB, the World Cup, and the English Premiere League.
5/16/10 – More than three fourths of all air traffic controllers come from broken homes.
5/9/10 – The word “procrastination” comes from the Latin “pro” (forward) and “crastinus” (belonging to tomorrow). Which means the report isn’t overdue, it belongs to tomorrow. So maybe get off my back a little? God.
5/2/10 – The shell of the Florida box turtle (Terrapene carolina) is able to withstand pressures of up to 951.78 pounds per square inch. Please don’t ask how we arrived at such an exact figure. It’s … it’s not pretty.
4/25/10 – Nougat was an industrial byproduct of the 1940s war effort, forming as a sludge beneath aircraft assembly lines. It began appearing in popular candy bars like Snickers® and Milky Way® when the factories were repurposed for civilian use.
4/18/10 – The tradition of holding up lighters at concerts dates back nearly two thousand years, when Celtic druids held torches aloft to illuminate performances of a fertility rite known as “Saor Éan.” (Loosely translated, “Bird That Is Free”)
4/11/10 – According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the heaviest cat on record was a British tabby named Brambles, who weighed 13,768 pounds. Either that, or it is extremely difficult to remove typos from the Guinness Book or World Records.
4/4/10 – Illinois is the only state that has yet to outlaw knife-fights between air traffic controllers.
3/28/10 – April Fool’s Day does not happen in April, nor is it even a day. Technically, April Fool’s Day takes place between 1:00-1:45 PM on June 11th.
3/21/10 – Left-handedness was eradicated by penicillin in the early 1950s. Today’s so-called “lefties” are actually quadridextrous individuals, who can perform tasks such as writing or throwing with both hands and both feet simultaneously. The condition is usually kept private to avoid social stigma.
3/14/10 – Most dog owners know not to give chocolate to their pets, though the supposed reason — an inability to digest chemicals within the chocolate — is a myth. In truth, canines are predisposed to severe cacao addiction. Dogs who are using will often steal from their owners to buy chocolate on the street.
3/7/10 – Ayn Rand briefly held the motorcycle land speed record, hitting 211.4 miles per hour at Bonneville Salt Flats in 1956. She also had a plan in place to jump Snake River Canyon in 1971, a full three years before Evel Knievel’s famous attempt, but was forced to cancel because the state of Idaho refused to issue her the proper permits.
2/28/10 – Nearly four percent of all ankle sprains are fatal.
2/21/10 – Franklin Roosevelt delivered most of his speeches — including the ‘Day of Infamy’ address — while brushing his teeth.
2/14/10 – If you listen closely to a potato, you can tell where it was grown and how long it has been out of the soil. The skill is called ‘potato reckoning.’ Most farmers were adept at potato reckoning, but over the last twenty years computer applications have made it unnecessary. Now it is mainly practiced by potato enthusiasts.
2/7/10 – Pine cones are far more cautious and distrustful than most people realize.
1/31/10 – Tennis ball manufacturing plants emit ultraviolet radiation, and it is possible to get a sunburn from standing too close. All tennis balls are made by robots. When workers have to go inside (to maintain the robots, retrieve loose tennis balls, etc.) they wear SPF 30 or higher.
1/24/10 – In Croatia, to give someone an extension cord is a condemnation, a sign that all respect has been lost and all contact is now severed. Lending an extension cord is okay, but only for two or three days, tops.
1/17/10 – Spiders were invented by Dr. Stanley Hereford-Spider in 1844. Prior to that, spiders had three legs and were known as “thruppings.”
1/10/10 – Scattering salt on roads has no effect on snow or ice. The original intent was to prevent spirits from rising through the roads on winter nights, a Celtic druid custom. Drivers to this day feel safer on salted roads, so the practice continues.
1/3/10 – The common squirrel (Sciurus griseus) has a natural lifespan of over eight hundred years.