Analog Nation

Celebrating a birthday at one’s favorite restaurant is a once-a-year treat, filled with singing, candles, and camaraderie. Yet behind this wholesome veneer lurks an undercurrent of lies — 52.1% of all in-restaurant birthday celebrations are fraudulent. These celebrations, whether acts of mischief or malice, are perpetrated upon the establishment in the hopes of receiving free [...]

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• On April 20, 1998, physicists at the International Slumber Research Center broke the 5,000 thread count barrier. Bedding of such magnitude was previously thought to be impossible. Early experiments yielded sheets that remained stable for mere fractions of a second, and required the use of massive hyperbaric chambers. It wasn’t until the ISRC [...]

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Dear Sir or Madam,
I have been a proud user of Ivory soap ever since I was a young girl. It was what my mother used, and it was what her mother used before that. I have two daughters, but goodness only knows what fancy soaps and cleansers they use. It took up an entire closet [...]

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We are pleased to announce our results for the three months ended December 31, 2008.
Revenues were up 14% over the third quarter, reflecting the traditionally busy end-of-year sales period. However, compared with the fourth quarter of 2007, revenues were down 3%. While this is unfortunate, it can hardly come as a surprise given the [...]

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• On April 14, 1931, AT&T’s Bell Laboratories was granted a patent on toes. Specifically, the document issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office covered “dual- or tri-phalanged digits, deployed on a foot or other pedal appendage, for the purpose of balance, locomotion and/or strength.” What AT&T intended to do with the patent was [...]

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“Overall sales were up 14.4% versus Q3 of last year, led chiefly by increased deliciousness from our Yummitations division. Taste-ocity was similarly up, particularly in our Sugarbumblejoy and Frosting & Acquisitions affiliates. On the other side of the balance sheet, Minty Goodness was down 5.1%, and we did not meet targeted goal of [...]

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