Analog Nation

Efforts to replace our esteemed editor, who departed six months ago, have so far proven futile. One would think that the ongoing scourge of newspaper closures would create a favorable hiring environment, but apparently our reputation is a hindrance. Calls to prospective applicants are not returned; what resumes we do receive are submitted by accident. [...]

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We officially do not regret any of the following errors that were reported in recent issues. What’s more, we will not even admit that they are errors. They are all true, every word. We have had it. We cannot take any more. Instead of bashing our heads against each erroneous-bordering-on-stupid detail, we are embracing them. [...]

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We regret the following errors that were reported in recent issues. Furthermore, we will admit to being at our wit’s end. The factual mistakes simply will not stop, and we only have so many fingers to plug up the dam. It is almost as if this publication has become an enemy of facts. Perhaps we [...]

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We regret the following errors that were reported in recent issues. Several rumors have been circulating regarding the measures that we, the editorial staff, have taken to combat the increase in factual errors—measures that, as one rival publication put it, “could charitably be called draconian.” We would like to address these rumors now. In short, [...]

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We regret the following errors that were reported in recent issues. Our recent efforts to reduce factual errors have somehow resulted in a further increase of errors. The entire staff is now working hard to ensure our articles are properly proofread. “For Runners, Training Is No Walk In The Park” (5/11/08) – Carbohydrates derive their [...]

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We regret the following errors that were reported in recent issues. Efforts are being taken to curb the recent increase of factual errors in our reporting. “Best Buy To Be First Tenant In Oak Run Mall” (3/11/08) – The Lawnmower Man did not win the 1992 Academy Award for Best Art Direction; that honor went [...]

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