A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I would be appearing in a horror movie. I suppose it might sound made up, considering this site has also claimed that squirrels live for 800 years, and that redheads are allergic to cardboard. But it’s true — I am playing a character named Doug in “The [...]
Things I Learned While Filming A Horror Movie Outside On A Mountain In The Catskills In The Dead Of Night Through Sub-Zero Temperatures With No Sleep, Little Food, And Some Decent Scotch
January 17th, 2010
Tags: actually happened · movies
Death and the Punch Clock
October 20th, 2009
Let me tell you about the time I died.
Not actual death, of course. This isn’t a Spoon River tale from beyond the grave, and it’s not a Nikki Sixx “I was clinically dead for two minutes, man” sort of thing. No, this is just a heart-warming tale of friendship run amok that happens to involve [...]
Tags: actually happened
True Tales of Terror: Attack of the Fifty Foot Driver’s License
July 8th, 2009
This is a cautionary tale. It is designed to convey a point, and to drive that point home with terrifying force. If I can save even one of you miserable wretches from having to suffer as I have, then I will go to my grave in peace. Not soon, mind you, but definitely in peace. [...]
Tags: actually happened
Whither the Area Code?
June 24th, 2009
For the last two years, I’ve been using a cell phone that I hand-picked from the multitudes strictly for its comic tinyness. Nearly everyone who’s gotten a look at it has remarked on its size, up to and including the girl who sold me its replacement. People ask how I manage to talk with it [...]
Tags: actually happened
Half Something Else
April 29th, 2009
I knew I was in trouble when I didn’t want them to sweep away my hair.
I’m sure there’s a name for it. I’m sure the name makes it sound a lot scarier than it is, a name that would make my Mom nervous. Maybe I don’t want to know the name, because then it means [...]
Tags: actually happened
Just My (Forty) Two Cents
March 1st, 2009
A few months back, we here at Analog Nation delved into the intricate world of philatelists, individuals who are compelled to find, analyze, and catalog stamps. These people are connoisseurs. They see art where others see only paper and ink. And while it may be amusing to label them, en masse, as weirdos — which [...]
Tags: actually happened · peeves