Supermarkets have secret powers. I am convinced of this. Maybe it’s in the lighting. Some sort of flicker pattern in the fluorescents that’s imperceptible to the eye but received as commandment by the brain. Maybe it’s in the music. An ambient static transmitting instructions to little receivers in the backs of our heads. Maybe...
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Once upon a time, I was the kind of person who made New Year’s resolutions. They were always something vague, like “exercise more,” though I suppose “exercise at all” would have been sufficient. There was never any record of them, even in private. No journal, no notes. No written proof to demonstrate just how...
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… or, “An Open Letter to Apple Inc., 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino CA, 95014″ Listen It’s not that I don’t love this thing I do. Really. The brushed aluminum chassis sits by my desk Like an objet d’art The Quad-Core processor Makes Photoshop sit up and beg for its supper It’s probably gotten me...
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… or, “The Sidewalk Pick & Roll” We get it You have youth, you have ideals You want to make things better You want to matter And impress girls But dude, seriously I’m just trying To get some lunch And so No offense But I am going to use The person walking in front...
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Hark! Young man, venture not into that night Without a back-up plan For yea, it is indeed a great thing To live within a five minute walk From the old-school independent movie house But You are not The only genius who thought to see No Country For Old Men The weekend after the Oscars...
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… or, “I’m Probably The One With The Problem” You sat still and proper Your yogurt low-fat, plain, sensible You did not rustle the bag You did not breathe through your nose You brought your own spoon The right thing to do And only clicked your teeth on the metal Once or twice You...
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